Without Knowing
by TimetravelingArchaeologist
Summary: She woke to an empty space beside her, the bed cold to the touch. He hadn't had watch, but he hadn't ever come to bed. She frowned at that, it was the first time he hadn't.


A/N: Written for zenofbeingmommy and the USS-Caryl Surprise Valentine's Day Challenge on tumblr. As always I own nothing of TWD, and my work is unapologetically unbeta read.

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Sweat slicked skin, angles and curves, his hot mouth exploring things she hadn't known could be explored, the play of muscles under his skin. These were the things that Carol had come to expect of her mornings over the last few months. Instead she woke to an empty space beside her, the bed cold to the touch. Daryl hadn't had watch, but he hadn't ever come to bed. She frowned at that, it was the first time he hadn't.

The air was frigid, and despite the blur of sleep, she could see her breath as it curled through the air. She shivered in the cool air, missing the warmth that she had become accustomed to waking to. Was it always this cold, or was it just colder without him? She slipped from the bed feeling an emptiness that she should have been prepared for. She wasn't.

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She entered the kitchen, her worn sweater wrapped tightly around her. It was later than she thought it had been when she first woke, the sky dark from cloud coverage. It explained why the cell block had been so quiet. Breakfast was already in full swing and the group was gathered in at the tables huddled into one another, trying to leach all the warmth from the bland soupy oatmeal blend that had been heated on one of the portable gas burners they had found.

She was usually up in time to help if not start it outright, and she frowned at the fact that she hadn't been up to do her share. Beth approached her with a bowl, Judith bundled up and on one hip. Carol took the bowl with a smile.

"Thanks sweetie. Shoulda woke me up, I didn't mean to sleep so late."

Beth shook her head and shifted the baby. "Daryl said not to wake you."

Carol blinked, suddenly worried. Why would he do that? Was he avoiding her? She thought he enjoyed their stolen moments in the mornings, the sleepy sex, quiet conversation, watching her start breakfast while she made him something before he left to hunt or take a watch.

She hadn't expected the sick feeling that settled into the pit of her stomach. Coupled with the realization that he'd never come to bed in the first place she knew, he'd lost interest. It was only temporary anyway, she had told herself that from the start. Their lives were always in peril and she wasn't young or pretty, just someone he trusted, it was convenient for them both wasn't it? It wasn't like they'd discussed what they had been doing anyway. He was just usually there, either slipping into her bed late after a watch or before the sun came up and he left to hunt.

"He around?" She could hear the worry in her own voice, but hoped that Beth couldn't.

The girl shook her head again. "Haven't seen him since, but I don't think he went out, said it was too cold this morning." Carol nodded, disappointment seeping back in.

She sat with a few of the kids and listened to them chatter as she finished her breakfast before quietly slipping out of the room. She felt guilty, she should be cleaning up, she hadn't helped with breakfast, but she suddenly found that she wanted to be alone, needed to think. Process the fact that things were ending and she was losing someone yet again.

The library was empty, perfect for solace, and the carpeted room seemed a bit warmer than her cell. She tucked herself into the little pile of cushions that they'd put in there for the kids to use, and sighed deeply. She'd never expected to find anything resembling happiness, but she was sure she had been since she and Daryl had stopped the awkward dance and let it flourish into something more. Or at least she thought it was something more. Maybe for him it wasn't. Maybe Ed had been right after all, she wasn't someone any man really wanted. Daryl deserved better, someone with less mileage, less baggage. Though who didn't have a bit of both these days.

Her thoughts were interrupted abruptly, the library door creaking open loudly and familiar footsteps came into the room.

"Was wonderin' where you went." Daryl's slightly irritated and rough voice was like a soothing balm, she'd miss that.

"Sorry, I shouldn't even been in here. I didn't make breakfast, should at least be cleaning it all up.

"The other's got it. Ya should be in bed, weren't 'sposed to move. Kinda ruined my surprise." He moved to stand in front of her.

Carol's gaze met his, confusion in her pale blue eyes. "Surprise?"

He shrugged, like it wasn't important at all. "Just picked up somethin' on that last run 's all. Thought you'd like it."

The last run? "Daryl, that was a week ago." Why on earth was he saving something that long? Was that what had kept him? Was he trying to soften the blow of ending things now?

He reached a hand to help her up, and she took it. The touch electric as always, sending warmth through her body. She stood and allowed him to lead her out of the library, silent as ever. Thoughts of all of the things that she didn't to deal with plagued her until they were standing there in front of her cell. He pushed back the scratchy blanket that covered the entrance and she peered inside.

There across the bottom bunk was was a fluffy red sweater, but more notably, there was now a dresser pushed into the corner at the back of the cell.

"What's this?" She turned to look at him to see him looking more at the floor than at her.

"Just figured it was time was all."

She was still confused, her face must have showed it because he made a noise and pointed.

"You gonna open it or what?"

She did as requested, pulling the top drawer open, her own things inside. The next two drawers were the same. But the fourth made her heart stop, and tears well in her eyes. His clothes were inside. His things were in her cell just below hers as if he intended to stay, make it all permanent.

She closed the drawers and turned to finger the red knit fabric at the end of the bed. He was answering her questions before she could even ask him.

"Too damn cold this morning, thought you'd want to put that on." She smiled, and slipped the warm sweater over the one she had on already. It was a tiny bit big, but warm and her favorite color. He continued to talk as she did.

"Glenn said it was mid February, was getting one of those dressers for Maggie, figured we could use one too." She liked the way he was referring to them together. And then it occurred to her that they were. They'd been living together in her cell for months, they just hadn't spoken about it being permanent, yet here he was making it just that. Daryl Dixon wouldn't ever be flowery and tell her with pretty words, he was usually practical at best, but here he was offering her more, here loving her back in his unspoken way, and on Valentine's Day no less.

"It's perfect," she said, wrapping her arms around him and turning her face into his chest. And the moment he wrapped an arm around her and turned her face up for a kiss, it was.


End file.
